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The interview with God

 

 

I dreamed I had an interview with God.

 

در رويا ديدم که با خدا حرف ميزنم

 

 

 

 So you would like to interview me? God asked.

او از من پرسيد :آيا مايلي از من چيزي بپرسي؟

If you have the time? I said.

گفتم ....اگر وقت داشته باشيد........

God smiled:My time is eternity.

لبخندي زد و گفت: زمان براي من تا بي نهايت ادامه دارد

What questions do you have in mind for me?

چه پرسشي در ذهن تو براي من هست؟

What surprises you most about humankind?

پرسيدم: چه چيزي در رفتار انسان ها هست که شما را شگفت زده  مي کند؟

God answered...

پاسخ داد:;

That they get bored with childhood,

آدم ها از بچه بودن خسته مي شوند ...

they rush to grow up, and then

عجله دارند بزرگ شوند و سپس.....

long to be children again.

دوباره به دوران کودکی برگردند  آرزو دارند

That they lose their health to make money...

سلامتي خود را در راه کسب ثروت از دست مي دهند

and then lose their money to restore their health.

و سپس ثروت خود را در راه کسب سلامتي دوباره صرف

 That by thinking anxiously about the future,

چنان با هيجان به آينده فکر مي کنند.

they forget the present,

که از حال غافل مي شوند میکنند

such that they live in neither the present nor the future.

به طوري که نه در حال زندگي مي کنند نه در آينده 

 "That they live as if they will never die,

آن ها طوري زندگي مي کنند.،انگار هيچ وقت نمي ميرند

and die as though they had never lived.

و جوري مي ميرند ....انگار هيچ وقت زنده نبودند 

we were silent for a while.

ما براي لحظاتي سکوت کرديم

And then I asked.

سپس من پرسيدم..

As a parent, what are some of life's lessons you want your children to learn

مانند يک پدر کدام درس زندگي را مايل هستي که فرزندانت بياموزند؟ 

 

To learn they cannot make anyone love them.

پاسخ داد:ياد بگيرند که نميتوانند ديگران را مجبور کنند که باشند دوستشان داشته باشند

 All they can do

ولي مي توانند

is let themselves be loved.

طوري رفتار کنند که مورد عشق و علاقه ديگران باشند

 

To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.

ياد بگيرند که خود را با ديگران مقايسه نکنند

 

To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.

ياد بگيرند ببخشند ديگران را با عادت کردن به بخشندگي...

 

To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love,

 ياد بگيرند تنها چند ثانيه طول مي کشد تا زخمي در قلب کسي که دوستش داريد ايجاد کنيد

 

and it can take many years to heal them.

ولي سال ها طول مي کشد تا آن جراحت را التيام بخشيد

 

 To learn that a rich person

 ياد بگيرند يک انسان ثروتمند کسي نيست که دارايي زيادي دارد

is not one who has the most,but is one who needs the least

بلکه کسي هست که کمترين نيازوخواسته را دارد

 

To learn that there are people who love them dearly,

ياد بگيرند کساني هستند که آن ها را از صميم قلب دوست دارند

but simply have not yet learned  how to express or show their feelings.

ولي نميدانند چگونه احساس خود را بروز دهند

 

To learn that two people can

ياد بگيرند وبدانند ..دونفر مي توانند  به يک چيز نگاه کنند

look at the same thing and see it differently?

ولي برداشت آن ها متفاوت باشد

 

 

To learn that it is not enough that they

ياد بگيرند کافي نيست که تنها ديگران را ببخشند

forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.

بلکه انسان ها بايد قادر به بخشش و عفو خود نيز باشند

"Thank you for your time," I said

سپس من از خدا تشکر کردم و گفتم

"Is there anything else you would like your children to know"

آيا چيز ديگري هم وجود دارد که مايل باشي فرزندانت بدانند؟ 

 

 God smiled and said,Just know that I am here... always. 

خداوند لبخندي زد و پاسخ داد: فقط اين که بدانند من اين جا و با آن ها هستم..........براي هميشه

 

+ نوشته شده توسط الهه رضایی در چهارشنبه سی ام خرداد 1386 و ساعت 11:35 |

Daughter and Stepdaughter

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By the well

A mother had two daughters, her real daughter and a stepdaughter. The step daughter was pretty and kind, but the real daughter was ugly and mean.

One day the step daughter went into the garden to draw water from the well. As she looked down into the water, she saw two little man dancing and prancing. She picked two apples from the apple tree and threw them into the well.

Each of the men caught one apple and was very happy.
"How can we reward you, pretty girl? " they called up.
But Stepdaughter would not even hear of any reward. She drew up the pail full of water and went back to the house. As soon as she stepped inside, Realdaughter exclaimed: "Oh, what golden hair you have! Where did you get it? "

Stepdaughter told about the two men in the well. The stepmother told realdaughter to hurry up and go to the well so she too would get golden hair.

The girl went and saw two little men. So realdaughter picked up two stones and threw them down, not looking to see where they might fall.

The men shouted, "Hope you grow on owl`s tail on your forehead!"

But realdaughter did not listen and ran straight to the house. As soon as she opened the door, her mother cried, "Your sister lied to you! You have an owl`s tail hanging from your forehead!"

Real daughter and Step daughter

From then on, both the mother and daughter hated poor Stepdaughter for her golden hair.

Fortunately Stepdaughter had a brother who was a rich nobleman`s servant, and he had heard about sister`s golden hair and about the way she was treated. He wanted to help and see her. His master noticed that his servant was unhappy and wanted to know what was wrong.

Owl tail hair style

The brother told about his pretty sister.

The nobleman said

" Order the coachman to go and bring her here. If she is as beautiful as you say, I will marry her, I love blondes! "

The coachman drove to the house. But the stepmother refused to agree. " I`ll let the one go if you take the other as well, " she said. The coachman could do nothing but take both girls.

On the road, Stepdaughter felt sick, her head hurt badly.

"Don`t worry, " said the Stepsister, " when we cross the bridge, just bend over the edge of the carriage and stare at the water. All your pain will be gone in on time."

The trusting girl did it, but her mean sister stood up and pushed her over the edge. She fell into the river and was left behind. The coachman noticed nothing until he reached his master`s house.

Riches
When the master saw a girl with an owl`s tail hanging down her face, he was so furious that he ordered:

" Cement her brother, the liar, in a brick wall! "

And so the good servant, extremely distressed and anxious about what had happened to his lovely sister, was locked up in the cellar.

Locked up But the next day the master`s cook noticed that a golden duckling was flying around inside the kitchen chimney.

He wanted to catch her, but did not do it.

The duckling called out, "Oh, my golden haired brother, how badly they treat you in prison!"

And the she flew away.

The next day the golden duckling came again, saying the same words. Finally the cook caught her and took her to his master.

The master started petting her, when he squeezed her very hard, she turned into the same beautiful maiden we named Stepdaughter.

She told him all that had happened to her..... all that Owltail and her stepmother had done to her.

The master ordered to release his servant from prison.

The master, seeing how good and faithful a servant he had, knew that it was time for just rewards and punishments.

So he promoted his servant to overseer of the manor.

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Then he asked the Realdaughter

" Tell me how to punish someone who would drown another person?"

Without thinking, Owltail answered:" Such a person should be dead."

Happily ever after

"All right," the master said.

" You have chosen your own punishment."

Once the horrors were past, the master and the golden haired orphan were married and lived happily for a long time.

+ نوشته شده توسط الهه رضایی در سه شنبه بیست و نهم خرداد 1386 و ساعت 23:27 |

Q: What letter of the alphabet is an insect?
A: B. (bee)

Q: What letter is a part of the head?
A: I. (eye)

Q: What letter is a drink?
A: T. (tea)

Q: What letter is a body of water?
A: C. (sea)

Q: What letter is a pronoun like "you"?
A: The letter " I "

Q: What letter is a vegetable?
A: P. (pea)

Q: What letter is an exclamation?
A: O. (oh!)

Q: What letter is a European bird?
A: J. (Jay)

Q: What letter is looking for causes ?
A: Y. (why)

Q: What four letters frighten a thief?
A: O.I.C.U. (Oh I see you!)

Q: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but not once in a thousand years?
A: The letter "m".

Q: Why is the letter "T" like an island ?
A: Because it is in the middle of waTer.

Q: In what way can the letter "A" help a deaf lady?
A: It can make "her" "hear.

Q: Which is the loudest vowel?
A: The letter "I". It is always in the midst of noise

Q: What way are the letter "A" and "noon" alike?
A: Both of them are in the middle of the "day".

Q: Why is "U" the happiest letter?
A: Because it is in the middle of "fun".

Q: What word of only three syllables contains 26 letters?

+ نوشته شده توسط الهه رضایی در سه شنبه بیست و نهم خرداد 1386 و ساعت 22:10 |

The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

 

Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.
Submitted by Bob Waldman

 

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."
Submitted by BH LEE

 

My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
So I asked him "What was the name of his other leg?"

(Try this one with your students the next time you are teaching a lesson that includes this type of grammer.)

 

The doctor to the patient: 'You are very sick'
The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?'
The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too...'

I use this joke for retelling in reported speech.
Submitted by: Adriana Luchetti

 

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"
Submitted by Sean McLoughlin

 

Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.
Submitted by: Irene Pellegrini

 

Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.

Doctor: Next please!
Submitted by Marco Morales, Mexico

 

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"

One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

 

A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"
Submitted by Steve

 

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

 

Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?"
Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?
Submitted by Miguel de Paco Moltó

 

Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.
Submitted by Maria del Pilar Villlegas Martinez

 

Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!"
Submitted by Bernadette Kelly

 

A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.
Submitted by Cláudia Almeida

 

A: Why are you crying?
B: The elephant is dead.
A: Was he your pet?
B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave.
Submitted by Joe, from Indiana

 

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.

"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"

"Wrong number," replied the girl.

 

PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"
TEACHER:" Of course not."
PUPIL: "Good, because I haven`t done my homework."
Submitted by Miguel de Paco Moltó

 

A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
Submitted by Mahmoud Zeidan

 

When I want to teach the coulors, I just ask my students to pretend the phone is ringing and they will answer:

Phone rings: "Green, green!"
They answer: "Yellow?"
They ask: "White?"
They hang up: "Pink!"

While teaching this use your hands pretending you are holding the phone.
Submitted by Maria Crisitna Codorniz

 

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!
Submitted by: Elise Owen, Dalian China

 

Two goldfish in a bowl talking:
Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?
Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?

 

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.

 

Man: I could go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?


+ نوشته شده توسط الهه رضایی در سه شنبه بیست و نهم خرداد 1386 و ساعت 22:7 |